I Am No Elisabeth Elliot

The early missionaries were total studs.  You know, like Jim and Elisabeth Elliott, Amy Carmichael, and and CT and Priscilla Studd (Was I the only one obsessed with missionary biographies as a child?).  They embarked on their missionary trips on ships.  It took weeks, sometimes months to get to their destinations.  There weren’t vaccinations and malaria medications.  They didn’t have technology.  A letter took months to get back to their families.  But they left their comforts, homes, and families for their calling.  Their families had to let them go and cherish the communication they did get.  Some of the famous missionaries left their spouses for months and years at a time because they felt called, and for various reasons, the spouse couldn’t go.

Let’s just say that I am no Elisabeth Elliott.  I have been a total sad sap with Adam gone on his three week trip to Africa.  I’ve been anxious when I didn’t hear from him for a day or two, frustrated that I wasn’t on wifi when he was, and sad that we have only been able to skype a few times.

I’m a sad sap because I love him, and really enjoy being around him.  I like his friendship.  I like his wisdom.  I like sharing life with him.  And it’s been hard to be oceans apart.

Honestly, I didn’t need any absence to make my heart grow fonder, I was very fond of my husband before he left.  But I will say that the absence has given me an appreciation for things I forgot to appreciate because they became normal after 8 years of marriage.  Over the course of our marriage, we have established our normal.  Turns out, our normal is really great.

  • It’s amazing to come home to someone who is genuinely excited to see me every day.  Some people say they only get this from their dogs, but my husband lights up every day when I get home.  He’s way cuter than a puppy, too.
  •  It’s wonderful to have a best friend who is completely invested in my life, who asks really good questions, and who is really wise.
  • It’s remarkable to have someone who knows my ugliest and is still crazy about me.  It’s crazy, but the man really loves me.
  • It’s encouraging to have a live-in prayer warrior.  Day or night, when I ask, he’s on it.  Even when I don’t ask, he’s on it.
  • It’s humbling to have a partner who loves me just as I am, but knows me well enough to challenge me to greater things.  It’s the beautiful tension of intentional relationship.
  • It’s a perk to have a hilarious friend around who makes me laugh so hard I cry on a regular basis.
  • It’s fun to have someone who’s into me, and thinks I’m good lookin’, and often pinches my tuckus when he walks by me in the kitchen.
  • It’s helpful to have a partner who helps equally manage life stuff (bill-paying, cleaning, yardwork, car stuff, dishes ).
  • It’s reassuring to have a spouse feisty enough to fight for our marriage and refuse stagnancy.
  • It’s comforting to crawl into bed and have strong arms hold me tight until I fall asleep.
  • It’s phenomenal to have a great marriage.

Talking about about how much I love being married is a tricky subject to navigate.  I have some single friends that really want to be married, but that hasn’t happened for them yet.  I have some married friends whose relationships are really struggling and things are hard.  I have friends whose marriages haven’t worked out and they are sifting through life after divorce.  I also have single friends who are happy with being single and they get sick of marriage and single blogs.

But today, I wanted to navigate those tricky waters and talk about marriage.  I remember something Adam wrote this past winter about marriage.  He wrote about how so many people talk about the hard stuff in marriage, but few give hope for marriage.  And today, probably because I’m feeling extra sappy, I want to say this: Marriage can be amazing, wonderful, remarkable, encouraging, humbling, fun, helpful, reassuring, comforting, and phenomenal.  I’m thankful for an amazing spouse.  I’m thankful for a God that has redeemed our marriage from seasons when it literally was the pits.  I’m thankful for second and third and fourth chances.  I’m thankful for Adam.

Adam comes home Friday.  I am dying with excitement!

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8 thoughts on “I Am No Elisabeth Elliot

  1. I LOVE this! I often shy away from talking about how much I love being married, and about how amazing it can be, because I never want to make anyone who doesn’t have that feel slighted. But then again, if we don’t talk about it – some will never know how absolutely wonderful it is!

  2. Um…tuckus??? Haha 😉 This is so encouraging to me. I was in tears after reading it, for a lot of reasons. Thank you for highlighting the hope in marriage. I believe in it so much. Friday is so close! Love you guys!

  3. Allison, this was beautiful…thanks for sharing! I’m so glad you love your man and can celebrate how you two have been blessed! Sometimes i’m thankful when i’m apart from Tommy, because it makes me REALLY miss him and appreciate the little things that make our life so wonderful…i feel ya sister! xoxo

  4. I love this post! As one who didn’t get married right out of college, it’s great to hear that marriage can be really awesome! For me at least, the longer I wait to get married, the more terrifying the thought of it is (the more negative stories I’ve seen/heard) – and it just seems all in all awful (even though I’ve seen plenty of good marriages also). So it’s nice to hear that it can be good – worth it.

    Also…I’m definitely no Elizabeth Elliot either…I LOVE skype and yearly plane trips home to see family!!!

    1. Bex, you are totally Elisabeth Elliot! Or Amy Carmichael (my personal hero!). I love what you’re doing!

      I’m glad this post was encouraging! I’m sad that marriage gets a bad rap a lot of the time. Sometimes we work at things because they are broken, but sometimes we work at things because it’s worth it to get better. I like to think that the hard stuff in marriage is for the latter reason. But all of marriage isn’t work or hard stuff. Maybe I should talk about that more often.

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