Today’s guest post and response to Dear Mom Friend comes from Natalie Robertson. Natalie and her busband Corey live in Nashville, TN and are expecting their first child in September. Natalie and Corey are good friends from college and it’s a blast to finally be living in the same city again! If you like crafty DIY projects, be sure to check out Natalie’s blog and if you love to hear her thoughts, check out Cultivate Her for posts from Natalie and other women leaders.
Dear Mom Friend,
When I found out that I was pregnant, I was (and am) scared that I would lose my identity, that I would have nothing else to talk about but my child, and that no one would care about anything other than my kid. It may seem odd to you that I really haven’t worried about the health of my child or how I will handle late nights and little sleep. Maybe it’s a little bit of selfishness or maybe I’m just worried I’m going to lose touch with who I am and what I’m passionate about. I’m not going to make any promises but I do intend to let God lead me through my fears of losing my identity, my confusion about where I find my worth, and my clarity about my calling. I also intend to be honest and open with some girlfriends; ones that will keep my accountable no matter what.
Last week I was talking with an acquaintance who had just discovered I was pregnant. She was shocked to find out that I was as far along as I am and that she didn’t know. So I gave her some insight into my personal theory on becoming a mother: “This baby is a welcome addition to our marriage and to my life but I will not let it define 100% of who I am; God defines who I am as a child of His”. To some moms that is blasphemy but it’s the truth. My church is currently studying a series about idols. This week’s sermon was all about the idol of achievement, and how many of us often confuse what we do with who we are. It was a timely reminder that my worth does not come from being a mom or a working mom or an employee, but from being a child of God.
As I keep perspective on the fact that my worth comes from being a child of God, I want to continue to be faithful to what God has called me to do. At this point in my pregnancy, I feel God has called me to be a mom, but I also feel like he has called me to continue to work in ministry (outside of my home). I have recently struggled with even that balance, that I won’t be able to give MORE of my life and my time to ministry once the baby comes. Just the other day I found myself almost crying in a meeting at work because I knew I would be on maternity leave during some big moments in the life of my church (and I’m not a crier, just ask Allison)
So I may not have it all figured out yet (and if I said I did I would be lying) but I wanted to share my pre-baby fears about losing my identity, finding my identity, and living out my calling. In spite of my fears, I have a God who is big; a God who has been equipping women for all of time for whatever He has called them to. I love that almost every woman who plays a major role in Scripture has a job (some are moms, some are not) but regardless, her impact on the Kingdom is never defined by her job, but by her devotion and obedience to God.
Scripture doesn’t talk about what a perfect mother Mary was to Jesus. Mary’s main impact on the story of God coming to earth was what she did before Jesus was even born. She made an impact by being a mom, but more importantly by being a devoted follower of God and by being obedient to God’s calling on her life.
So moms and future moms, how have you learned to be defined by your devotion to God rather than your role (as a wife, mom, working mom, stay at home mom…)?
This isn’t just something moms and future moms struggle with – what about men and women who don’t have kids, do you struggle with being defined by your role rather than your devotion to God?
Any advice regarding my fears of losing my identity and losing sight of my calling when the baby comes?