I’m Not A Real Warrior

Yesterday, I participated in an event called the Warrior Dash.  Warrior Dash is a 5k, but with challenging obstacles sprinkled throughout.  Some of the obstacles included climbing over really high walls, crawling through mud while avoiding barbed wire, and jumping over fire.  If you know me, you know that nothing about this sounds like my style.  I don’t love running and I hate being dirty.

Rewind: Several months ago, my husband and I had our annual state of the marriage address (we like to do this on our around our anniversary every year just to check in and make sure we’re communicating and doing work that we need to), and one of the things that my husband suggested was for me to get out of my comfort zone, loosen up a little, and to do activities that he finds fun (not just ones that I find fun).  Shortly after this talk, he proposed the Warrior Dash.  Wanting to put his suggestion into practice, I thought long and hard and agreed that I would sign up for this race with him.

After signing up, I figured I better train a little.  My first run hurt my pride and my knees, and I came home and reported to my husband that I would not, indeed, be doing the Warrior Dash.  I saw the disappointment in his eyes, so I changed my mind again, and decided to push through and make it happen.  Between old creaky knees and moving, I didn’t train as much as I would have liked to, and I started to dread the race.  For days leading up to the race, I was getting panicky, having weird dreams, and getting a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I knew that these feelings had little to do with the actual race, and a lot more to do with my personality and pride.  I am a perfectionist; I like to be prepared.  I also like to appear and feel confident.  I really hate doing things I’m not good at and I especially hate doing things that I’m not good at when others will be watching.

My church just started a new series about how God has uniquely shaped each of us and designed us with unique personalities, gifts, and methods of connecting with Him and with others.  Our pastor asked each of us to take a personality assessment, and for the next few weeks, we’ll be discussing in church and small groups how we might best connect with God and others, taking into account our uniqueness.  It’s no shock that my personality was diagnosed as the list-making, perfectionistic, and rigid one.  A friend recently informed me that if I were an office supply, I’d be a ruler.  Sad, but spot on.

I know that my pride and perfectionism is a problem.  I also know that God made me with a specific personality.  I’m looking foward to diving more into this series to learn what I can do to overcome the negative aspects of my personality, so that God can use the good aspects of it for His good.

So what about you?  Do your personality quirks hang you up and in what ways?  What are you doing to overcome the negative parts of you, so that the positives can be even more positive?

Well back to the Warrior Dash: I did the race and I finished the race.  I didn’t have the best time of my life, but I’m glad I got out of my comfort zone and did something I’m pretty darn terrible at.  I think it was good for me.

2 thoughts on “I’m Not A Real Warrior

  1. Allison, I always enjoy your musings about life, but I identified so strongly with this one it felt like I could have written it myself. I love to run (or, rather, loved to run), but after a disaster in eighth grade when I landed on my face in front of the grandstand, I never ran in front of people again. And rigid? I freaked out this week because we moved Tim’s desk into my beautiful guest room which upset the one room in the house where there was order and perfection. List making is a beautiful thing! 🙂 I would love to hear what you learn through your study about “our” personality type. And I think it’s amazing that you did the Warrior Dash – good for you!

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