Historically, moving does not bring out the best in me. Moving generally brings out my controlling tendencies, my crabby side, and my anxiety. My husband and I thought I was pregnant during our two big moves (KY to CA, and CA to MO) because I woke up barfing at 4 in the morning for days during the moving process. After two moves, we’ve diagnosed it as just good old anxiety. I feel emotions in my stomach. It’s awesome. We’ve coined it “moving belly”.
I haven’t experienced ‘moving belly’ yet as we prepare for this move, and I’m hoping I don’t. I have, however, already started to have to push back on Crazy Allison. This move is the biggest leap of faith move we’ve ever made. There are a whole lot of details that are not even close to being worked out. I don’t have a job yet (I mean, who wouldn’t want to hire this crazy mess?), someone needs to rent our cute little house or we have to keep paying rent through January (if you want an adorable 160 year old house with exposed brick throughout, in St. Charles, MO, seriously, contact me), and we still have a ways to go on raising Adam’s support (but we’re so thankful for those who have committed).
My only ammunition against Crazy Allison is faith. I have faith in a God who says He will provide for all of my needs. I definitely have moments when I choose to panic over believing this (evidenced by yesterday’s full blown melt down). As I’ve been praying and giving over my stress and need to control and crabbiness and anxiety to God, the sweet hymn, ‘Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus’ keeps coming to mind. So, as I drive to work, and clean my house, and work out, I’ve been reminding myself of these truths:
’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!
I’m guessing I’m not alone in this. How do you bolster your faith when you’re feeling weak, stressed, anxious, and fretful?